Friday, March 25, 2005

I went on Spring Break and all I got was this stupid anxiety disorder

Well, this has been a less than relaxing, yet less than productive spring break. I realize I'm jumping the gun a little because technically break doesn't end until Monday night, but there's no reason to hope for more from it.

Monday morning I had to say goodbye to Mike because wouldn't you know it, he had to do a site visit in Kentucky during my break. He was gone until late Wednesday night and the boredom had more than set in by then.

I think it's funny that two of my teacher's told me before leaving last Thursday to "be sure and take some time for yourself over break." They said it with such sorrow, like they knew I wouldn't relax and they knew it's, at least partly, their faults. It's almost apologetic, which I suppose is nice.

While Mike was gone I completed my Easter outfit. No, I didn't make it, though as you all know, I can sew. It's a dress that I found at TJ Maxx. Surprisingly, it is the exact dress that I paid over $100 for this past summer, but in a cute spring fabric. And much cheaper of course. The only problem with it is, although it is spring and the weather has been getting nicer, there's still a bit of a chill in the air for a nearly sleeveles dress. I must have tried on every style of every ivory cardigan available at Silver City Galleria Mall but to no avail. The closest choice was a ballerina style wrap cardigan at the Gap, but they did not have my size. Well, being the avid crocheter, I decide that I could make my own and headed to JoAnn's for some yarn instead. I am quite proud of the cute little shawl/wrap I was able to produce.

On Tuesday I had my internship the full day. Or rather I was supposed to. I was having another "bad heart day" as I call them. Bad heart days include rapid and/or pounding heartbeats, almost always coupled with hot flashes and feeling like I could faint at any minute. I hate those days. Especially when I know that home is a 45 minute drive away. I almost fainted while driving once before, as well, which adds to the scary factor. My blood has been tested for everything under the sun that might cause it--anemia, diabetes, thyroid disease--but nothing. They have hooked me up to an EKG, but still I am "healthy." This sort of a thing runs in my family. My grandma has been hospitalized for it even, but also never diagnosed with a reason. I've been having bad heart days a little too frequently lately, too. I had a pretty bad one a week ago Tuesday, as well. I almost called an ambulance for myself. The thing is, once it starts, it's exacerbated by the anxiety over whether or not I will faint. Or if I do, will I come to ok? Even if no one is around to poke me? It all seems to be turning into an anxiety/panic attack thing. I don't like it one bit.

Anyway, so after that on Tuesday I had some major apartment cleaning to do on Wednesday because I couldn't stand it anymore. I also had to pick Mike up from the airport. Well, ok, I didn't have to pick Mike up, but after three days I sure wanted to. We still have the problem of only one car, though, so I drove him to work on Thursday, ran some errands, and then picked him up from work.

Today, Friday, I had to go back to my internship to finish an assessment I was supposed to finish Tuesday. I was taking out a potential Little Sister to get to know her outside of her home. Lucky me and my heart, I was starting to have a mild anxiety attack out with her. Somehow I made it through, though, hopefully without her catching on.

Oh my goodness this is long, I think that's enough for now even though I haven't gotten into my big annoying glasses issue or the fact that I'm supposed to have a 10 page paper written by Tuesday AND celebrate Easter AND go back to my internship on Monday.

Ugh, can't I just drop out of school and be a homemaker? I'm starting to think that will suit me best.

Happy trails...

Friday, March 18, 2005

Now That's Customer Service!

Do you know how difficult it is to surprise someone when you live together? Well, it is. You know what the best part is, though? Somehow, Mike and I still manage to do so. :) Back in January, Mike organized a crazy surprise birthday party for me right under my nose! Now, we're both attempting Easter surprises since we're doing our first Easter together out here. It's kind of exciting. But back to great customer service. :) I ordered something special for him (I won't say what yet because he reads my blog), but I asked the company to deliver it in an unmarked box because it was a surprise for someone I live with. Do you know that I got it today and the shipping department had cut the "from" area of the label off? I was so happily surprised that I wrote them an email telling them how impressed I was. It's just nice to know that there are companies out there that really want to please their customers. :)

Friday, March 11, 2005

A Series of Unfortunate Events...and other such wanderings

Well, my poor Michael seems to have the worst luck. You all read about his food poisoning, then his car accident, and now he is sick. Last night I was out buying nearly every cold remedy known to man- cold medicine (both day and night formulas), throat drops, honey (for tea or a hot toddy), gingerale, and ice cream. Personally, I would have gone with popsicles, but Mike insisted he would take his chances with ice cream bars.

Now for the topic jumping, so be prepared...

I taught myself to make cables in knitting. It was fun. Took a few tries, but I finally got the hang of it.

I ending up dropping the workshop that kept getting changed on me so that I can freeze my butt off at the St. Patrick's Day Parade tomorrow. This will be my third year in Newport and I figured it would be more fun to see a parade than to learn about the effects of race, class, and ethnicity that I have already learned about in at least 3 other classes so far.

I can actually say that Facebook has had one positive impact on me so far: I have gotten back in touch with Sarah Holsinger. She used to live across the street from me back in the days of growing up. I actually used to baby-sit her, which is kinda funny now because we are only 3 years apart. It used to be more like just hanging out with a friend anyway, so it's great to get to know her all over again. She goes to Northwestern in Chicago and is majoring in Geology and minoring in Religion. Apparently she wants to go on for a Ph.D. and be the cool Geology professor one day. I think that's awesome.

A number of things have made me reconsider an environmental major or career. First off was my workshop that I had last semester: Environmental Issues in the 21st Century. Now this semester, my Biology class is entitled "Humans and Their Environment." And now being back in touch with Sarah and learning what she is doing has made me look for schools with environmental studies programs. I'm not going to drop out of Social Work after having made it this far, but I'm wondering if I could somehow combine the two? I don't know. I was always the geeky little kid, though, doing reports on the Three R's (reduce, reuse, recycle). I advocated for paper recycling in my elementary school. I bought "50 Things Kids Can Do to Save the Earth." I've been known to bug my parents on more than one occasion to make sure they were taking full advantage of our curbside recycling at home. I even started composting until my parents told me it was gross and it smelled too much. :( And after those fateful trips to Santa Fe back in 2001, I seriously considered becoming a park ranger. I used to be a member of the NPCA (National Parks Conservation Association). And just two days ago, I found a copy of the Sierra Club Magazine at the laundromat to read while I was waiting. I miss that part of me. I don't like having doubts about my life at this stage in the game. I know there are plenty of people who would say I was lucky to only be 25 and having doubts. It just sucks when two sides of yourself want two seemingly incompatible things: 1) settling down and having a family 2) continuing my education to really find the right place for me in this world.

Happy Trails...

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

What makes someone a good blogger?

I was just pondering this question while I was studying for my Methods Mid-term (in Social Work). Well, I wasn't thinking about it while studying. I was thinking that I was due for a posting to my blog as I was realizing I couldn't read the words in my notes anymore because I have gone over them so many times already. So I throw this out to you, what makes someone a good blogger? Does a good blogger:

a) post daily
b) post about every little daily action
c) reveal inner thoughts
d) ask and attempt to answer philosophical questions
e) use their blog to tell a continuous story (whether fact or fiction)

or does it not matter as long as the blogger is having fun? If the answer is "a," then I have surely failed because I don't have the time or enough interesting things to post everyday. I suppose I use a mixture of b-d, though not much philosophical as of yet. I think "e" is a very intriguing option, but I'm not that creative. Haha, but if you ask me about my childhood screenplays I just might divulge.

It's kind of a strange thing, blogging. I mean, you never know who might be reading it. In a way, you might have to be careful what you say. Or, you might be doing it just for your own personal satisfaction much like you used to keep a journal or a diary with no intention of anyone ever reading it. I'm guilty of wanting an audience I suppose because I have added a link to my blog in both my AIM profile and my Facebook profile. Perhaps most, if not all, bloggers are really just seeking attention for one reason or another.

Anyway, I should get back to studying and stop blathering on yet again. I have a feeling I can be pretty boring.

Happy Trails...

Friday, March 04, 2005

The Facebook

So here's the deal. Salve recently made Facebook thanks, for the most part I'm pretty sure, to Student Government (which I am a proud member). Facebook is (and i quote from the website) "an online directory that connects people through social networks at colleges and universities." You have to nominate your school to be a part of it and if accepted, it joins the ranks of such prestigious schools as Harvard, Yale, University of Michigan (I have to throw that one in because, after all, Michigan is home), and so on and so on. Sounds pretty cool, no? Well, sure I guess. I have joined and so has a good portion of Salve from what I can tell. My question is then, is there really and truly a point to it? In a way, it really seems like a sort of popularity contest. You invite people to be your friends and then it is broadcast to everyone how many friends you have at your school. But wait! There is another level of coolness you can acheive: Friends from other universities! You can then join groups based on interest, organizations, sports, and frats/sororities. You can search for people based on what school they go to or what high school they attended. Best of all, though, you can post a picture! I wonder how many people realize how..."loose" (and I'm not referring to their clothing)...they look in the one's they chose. Or maybe that is what they were aiming for. Who am I to judge? Afterall, the group "I am Obviously Wasted In My Facebook Picture" does exist, complete with members. Maybe all of this is just beyond me because I am ever-so-slightly older. I recently turned 25 (back in January) and I'm a junior in college. It was my choice to wait and for the most part I really think it was the right thing to do. Problem is, the whole partying/drinking mentality held by so many college students really sets me a part from them. Even when I was newly 21, I was never really a drinker or partier. In some ways I feel like my age creates a slight wall around me at school.

Anyway, I'm veering down sideroads I had no intention of traveling. I don't mean to sound cynical (though I'm sure that tone does come through). I also don't mean to be a hypocrit because I did in fact join The Facebook. I guess I just need to take it at "face" value (hahaha...pun slightly intended) and just have fun with it. Just what I need...another internet distraction in my day!

Happy Trails...