Saturday, April 02, 2005

Do I always need to have a title??

Argh. I don't know what to write, but I'm getting the urge to post. Maybe something good will just flow out. Or maybe I'll just ramble on about crap. Who knows? Who cares?

I'm having one of those highly irritable nights where there is nothing I want to do, but I want to do something. Mike has tried to put a few different things on tv, neither of which have interested me in the slightest. The first was Kingpin, but I hate Farrelly brothers movies. Then he tried to put on an episode of South Park that made fun of hippies. Ok, I can laugh at just about anything on the show, controversial or not. But when I'm already irritated, I don't want to sit through something that makes fun of something I like. I know, I know. I never was a hippie. I wasn't even alive in the 60s. Or 70s for that matter. But I've always held a bit of a romanticized view of the hippie culture. They're carefree. They help each other. They stand for social justice. They did what they wanted. So no, I'm sorry, I don't want to watch South Park rag on them right now. One day I will laugh at that episode. Maybe tomorrow even, but not tonight.

I guess this has the potential to really turn into yet another "I need direction" and "I wish my life was different" posts. Of which I am sure some of my friends will read, but none will comment on. Funny how no one ever wants to talk about "bad" stuff. Just ignore it and it will go away. Maybe people shy away from it because they don't know what to say. But you know what? Sometimes it really is just the thought that counts.

I can't wait for this school year to be over. It has been one stressor after another and summer will be a most welcome relief. I want to go home and be with my family for a little while. And for those of you that know me, that's something that you don't hear me say often. I do, though. I was talking to my mom the other day on the phone and she said just the perfect thing ever: "This summer you can come home and just sleep in and relax and eat meals that you don't have to cook." That just about sounds like heaven right now. Of course, I would like to add on to that. I want to play video games with Nick. I want to hang out with Laura and have "girltalks." I want to hang out with Lucy and have her in hysterics from all of my movie and Monkee quotes. I want to see my dad and make sure things are going ok. I want to be with my mom and be the person who "whips everyone into a frenzy" over things, but gets people to do things they wouldn't normally do. I want to have more nights at Adam's and I want to crash at Mary and Andy's with the girls--no matter how much Andy doesn't always want us there. One thing, though, that I'd most like to do is figure out what the hell I want to do with my life. I know, any number of people will tell me "good luck" with more than a hint of cynicism. It's one of those way out there dreams. But one day I will know it and I will get there. I will find something that I enjoy doing enough to do it for the rest of my life. I will live somewhere that makes me happy. I will be married and have my family...little George Henry, Judy Jane, and Lucy something-or-other. Haha. Ok, well, maybe I don't truly know what I will name them. But those are the top choices right now.

Ok, well, you know what? That last little thought made me smile and maybe that means I've written enough and accomplished what I set out to do by posting tonight.

Happy Trails...


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